人生就是一件蠢事追着另一件蠢事而来，而爱情则是两个蠢东西追来追去。免费关注微信公众号 itotii ，就能天天收到itotii精彩文章了，还有机会和主编小i一对一私聊喔，咱们微信里见！
有人说毒舌分两种，有些人毒舌是因为自己不爽，还有些人毒舌是为了让自己爽。而王尔德就是第二种人。
现在人人都标榜毒舌，然而许多人的毒舌都只是没有营养的无脑喷。
号称腐国第一毒舌的王尔德，在他短短46年的传奇人生里，留下了无数惊世骇俗又逼格甚高的妙句，其中不少是他作品中人物的话。如果他活在今天，就算不写作品，也绝壁是段子手里段位最高的。
他嘲讽他的敌人，“要原谅你的敌人，没有什么事比这更让他们抓狂的了。”
他也嘲讽他的朋友。“我不想去天堂，我的朋友都不在那里。”
他嘲讽平庸的人，几乎不给人留任何活路。
他说，“努力不过是无事可做的人的避难所。”
“只有无聊的人才会把早餐吃出花样来。”
“只有浅薄的人才了解自己。”
“糟糕的画家总是欣赏彼此的作品。”
但是他同样不喜欢优秀的人。“一个优秀的人没有敌人，但他的朋友也没有一个喜欢他。”
他嘲讽悲观主义者。“借钱就要向悲观主义者借，因为他们不会期待你还钱。”
他嘲讽好为人师的人。“对于建议，你所能做的，就是把它转送给别人，建议从来就不是给自己准备的。”
他嘲讽时尚，这句话即使放在今天，也是又尖锐又时髦：“时尚总是丑得难以容忍，所以每隔六个月我们都只好改一次。”
如今段子手们还在玩的梗，他100多年前就用过了。“我年轻时以为金钱是世界上最重要的东西，等到老了才知道，原来真的是这样。”
他嘲讽美国人。“美国是唯一一个直接从野蛮进入颓废、中间没有经过文明阶段的社会。”
他看不起和他同时代的人，他说：“死亡和庸俗是十九世纪仅有的无法用巧辩逃避的东西。”
他问：“为什么我会和这样一些人生活在同一个时代？”
他也看不起庸俗的大众。“公众惊人地宽容。他们可以原谅一切，除了天才。”
他说，“每次人们赞同我的时候，我都觉得自己一定错了。”
他不相信爱情。他说，“人生就是一件蠢事追着另一件蠢事而来，而爱情则是两个蠢东西追来追去。”
……
以下是他的毒舌语录，感觉看完自己嘴皮子都利索了。
经典语录：
1
“A little sincerity is a dangerous thing,
and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.”
– from The Critic as Artist
不够真诚是危险的，
太真诚则绝对是致命的。
——摘自《身为艺术家的评论者》
2
“The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it.”
– from The Picture of Dorian Gray
摆脱诱惑的唯一方法就是臣服于它。
——摘自《道林·格雷的画像》
3
“All great ideas are dangerous.”
-from De Profundis
所有伟大的想法都是危险的。
——摘自《自深深处》
4
“If you pretend to be good,
the world takes you very seriously.
If you pretend to be bad, it doesn’t.
Such is the astounding stupidity of optimism.”
– from Lady Windermere’s Fan
如果你装好人，
全世界都对你当真，
要是你装坏人，
那就没人把你当回事。
这就是乐观主义惊人的愚蠢。
——摘自《温夫人的扇子》
5
“We are all in the gutter,
but some of us are looking at the stars.”
– from Lady Windermere’s Fan
我们都在阴沟中，
但仍有人仰望星空。
——摘自《温夫人的扇子》
6
“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming. This is a fault. Those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated. For these there is hope. They are the elect to whom beautiful things mean only Beauty. There is no such thing as a moral or immoral book. Books are well written, or badly written. That is all.”
– from the prologue of The Picture of Dorian Gray
在美的作品中发现丑恶含义的人是堕落的，而且堕落得一无可爱之处。这是一种罪过。在美的作品中发现美的含义的人是有教养的。这对他们来说是希望。认为美的作品仅仅意味着美的人才是上帝的选民。书无所谓道德的或不道德的。书有写得好的或写得糟的。仅此而已。
——摘自《道林·格雷的画像》前言
7
“If you want to tell people the truth,
make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.”
– from The Nightingale and the Rose
如果你想告诉人们真相，
请先让他们开怀大笑，
否则他们会报复你。
——摘自《夜莺与玫瑰》
8
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
– from An Ideal Husband
爱自己是终身浪漫的开始。
——摘自《一个理想的丈夫》
9
“The public have an insatiable curiosity to know everything,
except what is worth knowing.”
– from The Soul of Man Under Socialism and Selected Critical Prose
人们想知晓一切，
却无视最应该知道的事情。
——摘自《社会主义下人的灵魂和精选评论》
10
“My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death.
One or the other of us has to go.”
– reported final words
墙纸越来越破，而我越来越老，
两者之间，总有一个要先消失。
——遗言
11
Be yourself;
everyone else is already taken.
做你自己，
因为别人都有人做了。
12
There are only two tragedies in life:
one is not getting what one wants,
and the other is getting it.
生活中只有两个悲剧：
一个是没有得到你想要的，
另外一个是得到了你想要的。
13
One can always be kind to people one cares nothing about.
一个人总是可以善待他毫不在意的人。
14
The heart was made to be broken.
心是用来碎的。
15
Always forgive your enemies
– nothing annoys them so much.
永远宽恕你的敌人，
没有什么能比这个更让他们恼怒的了。
16
Everyone is born king,
and most people die in exile.
每个人生来都是君王，
但大多数在流亡中死去。
17
I like men who have a future and women who have a past
我喜欢有未来的男人和有过去的女人。
18
Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
过自己想要的生活不是自私，
要求别人按自己的意愿生活才是。
19
When gods wish to punish us,
they answer our prayer.
若诸神要惩罚我等，
必先让我等如愿以偿。
20
I like to do all the talking myself.
It saves time, and prevents arguments.
我喜欢自言自语，
因为这样节约时间，
而且不会有人跟我争论。
21
It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances.
只有肤浅的人才不会以貌取人
22
No man is rich enough to buy back his own past.
-An Ideal Husband (1895)
没有人富有到可以赎回自己的过去。
——摘自《理想的丈夫》
23
What is the chief cause of divorce? Marriage.
什么是离婚的主要原因？结婚。
24
When one is in love,
one always begins by deceiveing one’s self,
and one always ends by deceiving others.
That is what would calls a romance.
爱，始于自我欺骗，
终于欺骗他人。
这就是所谓的浪漫。
25
Hatred is blind, as well as love.
恨是盲目的，爱亦然。
26
The truth is rarely pure and never simple.
– from The Importance of Being Earnest
真相很少纯粹，也决不简单。
——《 不可儿嬉》
27
The only difference between a caprice and a life-long passion is that the caprice lasts a little longer.
逢场作戏和终身不渝之间的区别
只在于逢场作戏稍微长一些。
28
The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
公众惊人地宽容。
他们可以原谅一切，
除了天才。
29
Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.
人生就是一件蠢事追着另一件蠢事而来，
而爱情则是两个蠢东西追来追去。
30
No great artist ever sees things as they really are.
If he did he would cease to be an artist.
伟大的艺术家所看到的，
从来都不是世界的本来面目。
一旦他看透了，
他就不再是艺术家。
31
Arguments are extremely vulgar,
for everyone in good society holds exactly the same opinion.
争论是俗不可耐的，
因为道德社会里每个人都持完全相同的观点。
32
We teach people how to remember,
we never teach them how to grow.
我们教给人们如何记忆，
却从来不教他们如何成长。
33
A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
一个人倘若不为自己思考，
那就从未思考过。
34
Fashion is usually a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
时尚通常是丑陋的一种形式，
以至于人们忍无可忍地每六个月便要把它修改一下。
35
Nothing can cure the soul but the senses,
just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul.
只有感官才能解救灵魂，
正如只有灵魂才能解救感官。
36
Pleasure for the beautiful body,
but pain for the beautiful soul.
美好的肉体是为了享乐，
美好的灵魂是为了痛苦。
37
And beauty is a form of genius – it is higher,
indeed, than genius as it needs no explanation.
– from The Picture of Dorian Gray
美是一种天赋，
实际上，
美超过了天赋，
因为它不需要解释。
——摘自《道林·格雷的画像》
38
Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions,
their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.
大多数人都是属于别人的人。
他们的思想是他人的观点，
他们的生活是一种模仿，
他们的激情是一种引证。
39
Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend,
but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend’s success.
同情一个朋友的苦难是任何人都能做到的，
但同情一个朋友的成功则需要具有十分出色的素质。
40
Between men and women there is no friendship possible.
There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
男女之间不可能存在友谊，
有的只是爱恨情仇。
41
Most people discover when it is too late that the only things one never regrets are one’s mistakes.
大多数人发现他们从未后悔的事情只是他们的错误，
但发现时已经太晚了。
42
The very essence of romance is uncertainty.
浪漫的精髓就在于它充满种种可能。
43
Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others
邪恶是善良的人们编造的谎言，
用来解释其他人的特殊魅力。
44
When a love comes to an end, weaklings cry,
efficient ones instantly find another love and wise already had one in reserve.
当爱情走到尽头，
软弱者哭个不停，
有效率的马上去寻找下一个目标，
而聪明的早就预备了下一个。
45
Don’t give a woman advice;
one should never give a woman anything she can’t wear in the evening.
不要给女人忠告；
决不要给女人任何她晚上不能穿戴的东西。
46
What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise
看似痛苦的试炼的往往是伪装的祝福。
47
The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray.
情感的好处就是让我们误入歧途。
48
Patriotism is the virtue of the vicious.
爱国是恶人的美德。
49
Religions die when they are proved to be true.
Science is the record of dead religions.
宗教一旦被证明是正确时就会消亡。
科学便是已消亡宗教的记录。
50
Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.
格言是智慧耐用的替代品。
51
A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight,
and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
梦想家只能在月光下找到前进的方向，
他为此遭受的惩罚是比所有人提前看到曙光。
52
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
每个圣人都有过去，
每个罪人都有未来。
53
To live is the rarest thing in the world.
Most people exist, that is all.
生活是世上最罕见的事情，
大多数人只是存在，仅此而已。
54
Society exists only as a mental concept;
in the real world there are only individuals.
社会仅仅以一种精神概念而存在，
真实世界中只有个体存在。
55
Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.
悲观主义者是这种人：
当他可以从两种罪恶中选择时，
他把两种都选了。
56
What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing
一个愤世嫉俗的人知道所有东西的价格，
却不知道任何东西的价值。
57
I don’t want to earn my living; I want to live.
我不想谋生；我想生活。
58
Moderation is a fatal thing.
Nothing succeeds like excess.
适度是极其致命的事情。
过度带来的成功是无可比拟的。
59
The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
世上只有一件事比被人议论更糟糕，
那就是没有人议论你。
60
Nothing is so aggravating than calmness.
没有比冷静更让人恼火的。
61
All charming people, I fancy, are spoiled.
It is the secret of their attraction
我想所有迷人的人都是被宠爱着的，
这是他们吸引力来源的秘密。
62
How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
如果男人坚持把她当作一个完全正常的人，
女人如何能期望会从他那里获得幸福。
63
Ridicule is the tribute paid to the genius by the mediocrities.
奚落是庸才对天才的颂歌。
64
To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world,
the most difficult and the most intellectual
什么也不做是世上最难的事情，
最困难并且最智慧。
65
A true friend stabs you in the front.
真朋友才会当面中伤你。
66
Ordinary riches can be stolen, real riches cannot.
In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken from you.
平常的财宝会被偷走，
而真正的财富则不会。
你灵魂里无限珍贵的东西是无法被夺走的。
66
The well bred contradict other people.
The wise contradict themselves.
教养良好的人处处和他人过不去，
头脑聪明的人处处和自己过不去。
67
Looking good and dressing well is a necessity.
Having a purpose in life is not.
注意穿着打扮是必要的。
而拥有生活目标却并非如此。
68
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I’m saying.
我简直太聪明了，
有时连我自己都不知道自己在说什么。
69
Children begin by loving their parents;
as they grow older they judge them;
sometimes, they forgive them.
孩子最初爱他们父母，
等大一些他们评判父母；
然后有些时候，
他们原谅父母。
70
Ignorance is like a delicate flower:
touch it and the bloom is gone.
无知就像是一朵精致的花朵：
摸一下，它就消失了。
71
Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative
谈论天气是无趣人类最后的避难所。
72
One’s real life is often the life that one does not lead.
真实生活就通常就是我们无法掌控的生活。
73
I don’t want to go to heaven.
None of my friends are there.
我不想去天堂，
我的朋友都不在那里。
74
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
对于建议，你所能做的，
就是把它转送给别人，
建议从来就不是给自己准备的。
75
The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
乐观的基础完全是恐惧。
76
An idea that is not dangerous is unworthy of being called an idea at all.
一个思想若称不上危险，
那么它就不值得被称作思想。
77
Women have a much better time than men in this world。
there are far more things forbidden to them。
女人在世上的日子要比男人好过得多。
她们有太多禁忌。
78
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
每次人们赞同我的时候，
我都觉得自己一定错了。
79
Only the shallow know themselves。
只有浅薄的人才了解自己。
80
Man is a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason。
人是理性动物，
但当他被要求按照理性的要求行动时，
可又要发脾气了。
81
I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit.
我给你们讲述的是所有你们没勇气去犯的罪孽。
82
We Irish are too poetical to be poets;
we are a nation of brilliant failures,
but we are the greatest talkers since the Greeks.
我们爱尔兰人太诗意以至不能做诗人，
我们的国家里充满才华横溢的失败者，
可我们是自希腊人以来最伟大的说空话之人。
83
Why was I born with such contemporaries?
为什么我会和这样同时代的人一块出生呢？
84
Discontent is the first step in the progress of a man or a nation
不满是个人或民族迈向进步的第一步。
85
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
除了我的天才，我没什么好申报的。
86
I like persons better than principles,
and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
我喜欢人甚于原则，
此外我还喜欢没原则的人甚于世界上的一切。
87
It is the confession, not the priest,
that gives us absolution
给我们赦免的，
是忏悔而不是牧师。
88
Popularity is the one insult I have never suffered.
声望是我从未经受的侮辱之一。
89
A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.
绅士就是从不无心伤害别人感觉的人。
90
Every great man nowadays has his disciples,
and it is always Judas who writes the biography
现在每个伟人都有自己的信徒，
而他们的传记总由叛徒来写。
91
The world has been made by fools that wise men should live in it.
愚人创造了这个世界，
智者不得不活在其中。
92
Men marry because they are tired;
women because they are curious;
both are disappointed.
男人因疲倦而结婚，
女人因好奇而结婚；
最终他们都会失望。
93
I adore simple pleasures.
They are the last refuge of the complex.
我敬佩简单的快乐，
那是复杂的最后避难所。
94
It is absurd to divide people in to good and bad.
People are either charming or tedious.
-Lady Windermere’s Fan, 1892, Act I
把人分成好的与坏的是荒谬的，
人要么迷人，要么乏味。
——《温夫人的扇子》
95
Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
-The Sphinx Without a Secret
女人是用来被爱的，
不是用来被理解的。
——《没有秘密的斯芬克斯》
96
Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life.
艺术并非模仿生活，
而是生活在模仿艺术。
97
Don’t be afraid of the past.
If people tell you that it is irrevocable,
don’t believe them.
不要惧怕过去。
如果人们告诉你说过去的事情无可挽回，
别相信他们。
98
Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
每个人犯了错误，都自称是经验。
99
If a woman can’t make her mistakes charming,
she is only a female.”
-Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime
如果一个女人不能让她犯的错误变得迷人，
她就只是一个雌性动物。
——《亚瑟·萨维尔勋爵的罪行》
100
Bad artists always admire each other’s work.
糟糕的画家总是欣赏彼此的作品。（来源）
未经允许不得转载：itotii » 王尔德毒舌语录：男女之间不可能存在友谊， 有的只是爱恨情仇。
